The shadows dart around me,the creaking floorboards moving with every step I take. This old old house is a deserted,rotten,rundown mansion. I carefully sneak up the rotten staircase and watch in dismay as a stair falls down to the mouldy lino beneath me. Oh why did I ever agree to do this dare?
1 Comment
Maddie
6/2/2015 06:44:50 pm
A nice use of first person, and it's helpful that you displayed the image as well as paragraphed this piece well. But you needed more character development, e.g emotions, personality etc, and maybe don't leave the caps lock on for the whole story. It makes the full stops hard to notice.
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August 2015
CategoriesHi I am Ashleigh
I really like writing and being in writing extension.l |