Echoes bounce emptily. Clawed hands reach up, towers of dead ashwood. The mansion looms over me, only weathered stone without a trace of life. A perfectly fitting background, the thundering sky flickers with an unearthly light, an aurora of hell. A few lonely gravestones litter the ground, unloved and forgotten. I drag my eyes back to the lifeless house, they settle and a light flicks on. It flickers and jumps from window to window, whipping the clearing into a frenzy of gruesome life. “Stop!” I yell desperately and the light vanishes. Wind races around with a hoarse shout. Taking a deep breath, I take my first step onto the carved stone stairs. All sound stops. Except the heavy, moist breathing in my ear. I turn, an expression of horror pasted upon my face
Echoes bounce emptily. Clawed hands reach up, towers of dead ashwood. The mansion looms over me, only weathered stone without a trace of life. A perfectly fitting background, the thundering sky flickers with an unearthly light, an aurora of hell. A few lonely gravestones litter the ground, unloved and forgotten. I drag my eyes back to the lifeless house, they settle and a light flicks on. It flickers and jumps from window to window, whipping the clearing into a frenzy of gruesome life. “Stop!” I yell desperately and the light vanishes. Wind races around with a hoarse shout. Taking a deep breath, I take my first step onto the carved stone stairs. All sound stops. Except the heavy, moist breathing in my ear. I turn, an expression of horror pasted upon my face
2 Comments
Maddie
9/1/2015 06:02:27 pm
This has some descriptive language. The way that you hooked the reader on with a short but powerful beginning sentence was a great choice of structure, but as I often say, I find the character boring. I like to read about a first person character with obvious signs of a character design.
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Oliver
9/16/2015 06:35:28 pm
Great story you carried the description right through the story.
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AuthorBefore anyone asks, Kitty may not be my real name but I am not telling you my other one!!!!!! Archives
September 2015
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